“This is not a happy post!
Subject: FEAR! Patient: Me, you, us! Result: Fight or Run!
My psychologist is “the word”. Today I can say and write that I am scared. I am scared of snakes, yellow candles, jelly, lilies, smart tv, or other normal things…and also I am scared of myself. I have this thing is called … love. What should I do with it? What are you doing with your love? What is normal to do? What is the best you can do or be?
This love thing is cute and nice, sweet like chocolate, with colors and sun, rainbows, butterflies, thoughts, but a crazy mindfucker!
I don’t know if I am alone, but I think I am not. I want to be able to love, I want to be able to choose who I love, I want to say yes and don’t think about it after, I want to be more strong and less weak. I want to not smile like a stupid person now. I want to be mad and sad and all the bad thingssss. I want to be SuperSpiderWoman 🙂
I am sure SuperSpiderWoman has no fear and bullshit like I do, I am sure she is a bad ass, smart and brave, I hate her! And I know her! She is allll the way nice and BLA BLA, but the secret is that she also does run away…
So, what should I do with love? I can’t fallow my brain and my heart is long gone. So, what should I do? Fear is my enemy and a good friend also. Me, you, us can make the best team, but we don’t have time. So run…run can make me happy and smart, but fighting can make me and you and us to have the story of our lifes.
They really play with me and you and us….every fucking single day!”